Just wondering....

We live in a world full of people. Billions. There's no conceivable way to know everyone yet, deep down, I think many of us wonder what are the others like. What are they doing at any given moment in a day?
We get to know very few people from this planet. Even less people we get to know very, very well. You know, best friend kind of people... And even they remain a mystery to us for the most part because no one, not even in the closest of relationships can fully open to another. It is simply impossible.
My problem is not a simple one. Especially because it really bugs me sometimes. What do people that I know or simply have heard of are doing when I am not around? I don't really want to know details but the idea sounds very interesting. What's worse, it is not rare when I would like to know what people are thinking. Oh, how I would loooooove to read minds. Not necessarily to know what they are thinking about me. (Though that would be fascinating and very unpleasant at the same time. More on the subject some other time.)
I think the writer in me wants to know more about this world than I can perceive with my senses. I know myself pretty well, but I cannot possibly know everything that a person can be. Humans are complicated creatures. Each experiences things in their own way, each has its own set of experiences that cannot be felt by everyone in the same way. It is really a problem for me. Being limited in my own body is sometimes the worse torture for me.
Another problem that I had was being somewhat antisocial. I mean, I just didn't enjoy hanging with people. I still don't, but I have learned, with the right people to teach me ( and I am forever grateful to them for that), that it isn't that bad and that I can learn a lot of things by being around human beings. Things about them, about how they function, how they feel, how they work.
That is why I spend a lot of time observing those around me. I find it best not to interfere in their lives and just learn things. In time, I can know them well enough to decide if I want them to be my friends not just cases studies. It has happened.
In my writings, I had to use all types of people. Some of them are not very believable because I based them on what I thought I knew about human types. Others are copies of those I met, or simply inspired by interesting individuals I came across in my adventures so far.
I think the best characters I wrote are a mixture of the two. I don't know if readers will like them and, frankly, I don't care.  We are not supposed to like every single character in a novel. On the contrary...

Cruel, cruel world...

Ever since I first saw it, I was fascinated by this picture. What do you see when you look at it?
I found it because I was looking for interesting pictures of golden eagles, a little obsession of mine. And when I saw it... oh my...
Most people, I believe, see a large bird trying to overcome a resisting fox. In winter. That's all. If anything, the bird seems to be in trouble because we all know foxes can be dangerous.
It is a beautiful picture. Nature at its best. No question about it.
I se the same things; I see the wonderful bird, I see the stupid fox and I give it no chance o f survival...
I also see myself, and pretty much everyone else, in that bird, trying to be ahead of all that is evil in this world.
We, humans, are all predators. We all try to eat up the one next to us so we can live longer and  better. Of course, I am not referring to cannibalism. (Not sure if it even still exists but, if it does, I am glad I do not live in that part of the world.)
Anyway, to survive on our planet, I discovered, humans tend to be mean. Very few still consider being nice  and helpful as a good thing. I know people who believe with all their heart that if you want to help others, for some kind of payment or, the rarer form, unconditionally, you are an idiot. I suppose they are probably right. If you help the wrong people, the undeserving. Naturally, another problem arises from this. How can we know who deserves our help and who doesn't? Because humans are clever predators. Not all jump to rip your throat. There are subtler ways to hurt people in your favor.
Some animals eradicate entire species by consuming the eggs or the young of that species. They don't want to kill on purpose, it does not give them pleasure. They do it because they need to eat.
We used to hunt for food too. A very, very long time ago. Now, most of the hunting is done for the sick pleasure of the kill. This is how "evolved" we are.
Don't be surprised by all the fictional creatures we create - the monsters that live under the bed, the vampires, zombies and all those other things. They are all real. They all come form inside our heads. It is the safe way to explore that part of ourselves. The other way is to become those monsters.
That is why I want to be that Eagle. The fight can go either way, you know. The bird can crush the fox's neck and be done with it. The same bird can make a fatal mistake and let the guard down for one moment, just enough for the fox to make its move and turn from prey to predator.
My bet is always on the Eagle. Perhaps I am a bit biased on the subject. I don't know. (could be the theme of a future discussion, I guess.) What I do know is that we live in a cruel world in which the only way to survive is to be cruel. Or so people think...

In the beginning...

I don't know how to begin...
These are the words that usually lead you nowhere. Not me.
There's a whole world outside of ME that needs exploring so why should I bother exploring my inner world? Why should anyone? I suppose it is because we need to put ourselves out there, for the whole world to see and, at the same time, try to hide what we really are.
I could say I am not sure why I started this blog but I would be lying. I am a writer. I cannot live if I do not write. Whether it is writing on my novels, in my journal, or just jotting down thoughts that come to me now and then, I need to write. it is a compulsion I cannot fight, I do not want to fight.

In my future posts you will read a lot about why I don't like some things in the world, about how much I like my freedom, about flowers and birds, about the people I know and love of hate, about the books I read, movies and TV shows I like or don't, about boring stuff that are usually ignored, and about me as the writer of novels hoping to be published one day.

I don't know how often I will post. That depends on so many things...
What I do know is that I will always speak my mind no matter what...
What can possibly go wrong?